Deadline Acquisition Analysis: Wil Myers
On Sunday evening, the Friars boosted their outfield options with the acquisition of first basefielder Wil Myers from the El Paso Chihuahuas in exchange for a Garth Brooks rookie card and the ghost of the Blackberry of the ghost of Kevin Towers.
Myers has batted .264 this season with an .856 OPS and 4 home runs in 14 games between the Chihuahuas and the Storm of Lake Elsinore, where he was recently made honorary mayor. He went 0-1 in Sunday’s 8-3 loss to Tacoma with three walks. “What do you expect? I’ve been down here in the minors for four score and seven years, I’m tired of this shit,” said his hair after the game.
Myers struggled in his previous 2022 stint with the Padres, though it should be noted that that was pre-city connect jerseys, which he personally designed. “Pink is my favorite color, so I put it on the right arm,” he noted at the time, “but pink is distracting when I see it on my left arm while I’m hitting, so that arm’s gonna be more like a mallard-head teal. Also, how do these guys wear batting gloves? They’re such an eyesore.”
Despite his ‘22 toils, the veteran right baseman is expected to provide a spark to the Padres offense. He’s shown a remarkable ability for a fast start after a rest, with over a 1.000 OPS in each of his last six week-to-three-week stretches after the offseason or an extended injury. After a two-month injury break in 2018, for instance, he hit .310 with 7 homers and an OPS of approximately 200.000 in his first 20 games back with the big league team.
Myers is acquired as an expiring contract in the final year of a six-year deal with a club option for 2023. When asked if the Friars plan to pick up the option for next year, GM A.J. Preller didn’t answer the phone. In fact, Browntown was unable to reach almost anyone from the front office or back office, although Baseball Operations & Player Development Special Assistant Ian Kinsler is on record saying “call this number again and I go to the authorities! Fuck you all!”
Myers is expected to appear in some games at first base after Eric Hosmer strained his neck on a strikeout while attempting to hit a sacrifice fly with one out and a runner on third in the sixth inning of yesterday’s game. The versatile and deceptively muscular Myers is also expected to make some starts in right-center field with Fernando Tatis riding his shoulders like a toddler.